When My Heart Aches

When I got pregnant, one of the first fears that washed over me was how vulnerable my heart would to pain. That sounds far from the joy of a little one kicking inside your belly, but from a young age I got to see, hear, touch and feel true pain. When my sister passed away, I watched as my parents' hearts literally broke, unraveled in front of me. Unknown to me, I was learning the vulnerability of having children. Your heart exposed to what may come. I didn't realize this was something set in the tiny folds of my mind until I was faced with having a little one of my own. 

As I walk into a season where my little one would prefer papa, I'm starting to feel my heart exposed. The small ache that comes from tiny hands that don't want to be held by yours.

Where do I go? What do I do? How does my heart mend time and time again?

And then God reminds me that I do the very same thing day in and day out. And the reason I feel safe with Him, the reason I keep coming back is because of His unconditional love. All I have to do is follow this great example. I am His and He is mine. Love my little one unconditionally and she will keep coming back.

And when my heart aches...I cry. I reflect on truth. And then I play with play dough.